It's a good thing Liberals have no way to get their stinkin' progressive hands on some metal detector proof ceramic stabbing weapons. Then we'd all be screwed. Below is just one of many, many tables where they actually sell the guns in question. I did not personally see any guns there that were being "shown" as the name of the event suggests, only guns that were being sold.

Neato, eh? I also saw a Dale Earnhardt sponsored shotgun, but the picture of it came out all blurry. Sorry guys.

While I LOVE making fun of the gun show, I also LOVED shopping at it. I won't tell you if I got a gun while I was in Florida, but if hypothetically you were to ask me if I did, the answer would rhyme with "Mess", and it's not guess. Just don't show up unannounced at my home in the wee hours of the morning, and if you do, give me a minute to go to the closet and "get ready".

That was a lovely Saturday, and my father and I ate BBQ again, at my request. Here's the old man at Bubba Lou's. And please, he could whoop Wilford Brimley's ass, so don't even say it.

The next day was Sunday, The Lord's Day, and we went to church. It wasn't just church though, it was a mega-church. That is actually what they are called down here. We went to a giant building at 8:30 (ouch!) in the morning and sat in the back of a neverending row of pews. When we arrived, I immediately noticed the Giant Projection Screen above the pulpit, and showing on this screen, the surprisingly hot girl leading the worshipping. My eyes scanned the room to see where she was being filmed from, but I couldn't locate her.

I turned to Claire. "Hey, where is that chick singing from?"

To which Claire replied, "Apopka."

For those of you unfamiliar with Floridian Geography, Apopka is a city a few hundred miles away from the city of Orlando. This so-called hot chick was leading a worship service for an entirely different church and the people in our building were just following along on the screen. Then the thought struck me. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to watch TV together..."

I didn't know how to feel about that, but it struck me as a little creepy. Then I found out there were two other giant churches that were watching the broadcast as well, and I felt justified in my "creepy" diagnosis.
It was a lucky thing that our church was the one who got the Real Life Pastor and not his Virtual Counterpart. He delivered his sermon on (and this is not a joke) "The Dangers of The Da Vinci Code" and then, after a few more songs by fake hot girl, we left. All in all, if I was giving this place ten percent of my income, I'd expect a little more of a show. I'd give it 2 and a 1/2 stars.

After that, we went to breakfast as a family. My father, my sister, my brother-in-law, and my nephew all took me to a restaurant called Brian's where they go every Sunday without fail. I had steak and eggs, and the food was just OK, but it was one of the greatest meals of my life. Here they are.