I have some good news and I have some bad news, Nillas.

I'm going to be writing a lot more in the next few weeks (that's the good news), because I have what's known as a sprained ankle.

And before you ask, yes, it hurts. A lot.

I was playing basketball this afternoon at a lovely park in West Hollywood, and for once I was shooting pretty well. I was playing defense on a particularly nasty competitor, Luke "I'm just a little guy" Thayer.
He had the ball and was making his move down the lane and I thought to myself,
"I will be damned if he's gonna make that weak-ass scoop shot again."

Turns out, I was damned.

He made the shot, (I think) and I went sailing harmlessly past him. Actually, it wasn't as harmless as I would've liked. When I landed, I heard/felt a significant pop and I knew before I hit the ground that I was done for the day, and most likely, the month.

Now, I'm not going to die, and I don't even have what would be considered a major injury, but the fact remains;

I can't go anywhere.

I am stuck, as they say, like Chuck. I can't walk to the store to get more water, I can't even use the bathroom without an intricate system of ropes and pulleys. To say nothing of driving or working.

To make matters worse, I have a show to do this weekend in San Francisco, and
I don't know if I'll be able to pull off the complicated choreography. How will the guys survive without my dancing prowess? It will be tough, but I know they can do it. Reasonably well.


AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This sucks!



We at The RyduffalO regret that last outburst. We hold ourselves to the highest journalistic standards, and would never do anything to bring into question our integrity or to somehow use this mighty forum for our own selfish benefit.
The word above should not have been bolded. For to wantonly and frivolously toss around bolded words does an injustice to bolders everywhere. If we are to learn anything from the legendary story of the boy who cried wolf, let it be this,


Hey cool, I think the Vicodin is kicking in.