HEADS UP!

Over the past two years, I, like many Americans I'd wager (seriously, 20 bucks?), have been watching with great interest both the War On Terror, and more specifically, the actions of Al Queda.
I've even taken this "ruthless terrorist organization" to task a couple of times for their crude methods and lack of decent uniforms or a logo. If they're going to be anything like Cobra, whom I believe they are modeling themselves after, they need a good battle cry and at least one leader with a face encased in metal. The shinier the better.


Also, what's with all the beheadings? It's like cutting someone's head off and posting their remains on the internet is the new black, as opposed to the old black, which was Von Dutch hats.

Seriously though, decapitation has got to be the messiest way to kill someone, and you know one of those poor lowly Al Queda interns gets stuck with the mop and bucket after one of those home movies gets made. And the whole time he's thinking to himself, "I didn't sign up for this, I was an All-Star back in Seattle." What a waste of a truly great point guard, stupid terrorists.

Also, I think we should use a different name for terrorists. Terrorists is too cool sounding and quite frankly they haven't earned it. We need a name that won't instill fear in the populace and at the same time reduces the "terrorists" to laughingstocks every time it's used. This will rob them of so much of their power that maybe they'll learn that simply stacking up a pile of naked prisoners can be just as rewarding in the long run as their more brutal and savage techniques.

So what do we call them?

A friend of mine currently has the lead with
Jihad Monkeys, but please, if you can think of any others, do your civic duty and share them with the rest of the class.

Also, if you're in the L.A. area, go see The Habit, sketch comedy so good you're head will fall off...too soon?