WORST BLOG EVER

Good Morning. It's almost time for the men's NCAA basketball tournament and I've got ants in my pants. Ah! Ants in my pants! Be right back.

That's better.

As excited as I am for the tourney, I'd like to discuss another type of madness.

What the fuck is wrong with these Al Queda guys anyway? Do they want Bush in office for another four years? It seems to me that if they are responsible for the senseless acts in Spain, (and it's looking more likely that they are) then that only bolsters support for G.W. and his war on terror.

On the other hand, what if the American People break with tradition and are smart about this? Will they see that the real reason these attacks can continue is because Bush is wasting our time in Iraq when he should still be hunting these thugs down for what they did 2 1/2 years ago, let alone last week.

Let me take it a step farther in saying that if Al Q. had the time and resources to plan this attack, they don't seem to be nearly as decimated internally as our administration purported them to be. Could it be that again, as in the State of The Union, the white house is purposely beefing up it's "factual claims" to support it's own agenda?

The worst part about all of this, is that apparently these guys have figured out that they don't necessarily have to kill themselves in order to carry out devastating acts of atrocity. That sucks, because at least before we were getting some of them, and now that all we have left to rely on is Bush's idea of intelligence, I'm starting to get a little nervous.

And seriously, how many different ways can you spell Al-Qida? I've seen many variations, none of which look exactly right. They need to get their P.R. guy on the scene, pronto!

And now, for an entirely different type of Madness.

I'm going to Las Vegas on friday.

I'm more than a little excited to be surrounded by millions of blinking lights and security cameras and given free cocktails for as long as I can drink them. Some would argue that the drinks aren't free. They'd say I'm actually paying a lot more for them than I normally would with all of the money I lose. To those people I respond with the four words that has kept Las Vegas in business for all the years;

What if I win?

I might, you know.

Today is St. Patrick's day. In Ireland they use this holiday to pay tribute to some guy, I forget his name, who got all of the snakes in the country so drunk that they all died of alcohol poisoning. That's a lot of Zima.

Ridding an entire country of snakes is an impressive feat, even if that country is the size of Bellevue Square*. Now, if someone was to rid this country of all of it's snakes, I would strongly consider voting for him over Kerry. Who am I kidding? I'd vote for Mark Siano if I thought he could beat Bush.
But, alas, he can't. Mark has virtually no left hand, and if Bush gets hot from the outside, it's over.

Zing! I got him again folks!

Wish me luck in Vegas. Go Huskies!

Meaning UCONN. I mean, who are we trying to kid?



*For those of you reading The Pinyon in California, just substitute the Sherman Oaks Galleria for Bellevue Square. Thank you and Good Night!