I'M 27 NOW (PART II)


When we last left our hero, he was valiantly attempting to ignore the pain in his viciously sprained left ankle and get down to enjoying his birthday. He looked at the clock and it read 11:45.
Perfect.
He'd summon his sidekick Jeff from his lair two stories below, and together they would set off to rid the world, or at least the Wyndham Hotel Pool and Spa, of any kind of despicable treachery or evil.

But, there was no evil there.

Instead there was a Steam Room.

And a Sauna.

And a Hot Tub.

And together, they conquered them all.



THE END



I'm truly sorry folks, but I've made the executive decision to move on from the topic of Chicago/My Birthday. My apologies to those of you who don't know how it ended. Let me sum it up, we all died.


Anyway, I have some things to discuss with you folks about the race for the Democratic Nomination.
First off, Dean is done.
As soon as he made that unholy noise at the end of his speech in Iowa, his political career went into a very sharp nosedive. Pull up, crooked smile guy! Pull up!
And then there's Kerry.
He looks as if he was left out in the sun too long under a magnifying glass with Dr. Mindbender and Serpentor. All I have to do is think of the pitifully lame stab he took at being cool when he rode his motorized bicycle into Jay Leno's house last fall, and I know he doesn't have what it takes to beat anyone at anything.
Wesley Clark looks remarkably frail for a Nine Star Sky Admiral, or whatever the hell he's supposed to be, doesn't he? He's all pale and little, like a iddy-biddy white bunny, who eats carrots and lettuce, and would make a fantastic Vice President.
Who's left?
Lieberman? Done.
Sharpton? Done.
Kucinich? Way too short.
Which leads us to one John Edwards. With Dean, and Kerry, and Edwards in the three man hydroplane race that this is going to come down to, Edwards is the Yellow Boat.
Sure, the Red and Green start out with a good deal of speed and momentum and the Yellow is quickly left behind, but as anyone who's been to a baseball game at Safeco field can attest, the story doesn't end there. There's always some commotion towards the end of the race, and just as the Red goes to cross the finish line, BLAM!

Blam, in this case, meaning that the Yellow hydroplane comes from out of nowhere to win it all.
This is what will happen in race for the Democratic Nomination. Next?

In other news, what's up with commercials in movies? It's starting to get ridiculous, and I think it's because no one has spoken up and complained about the fact that we pay more for one movie than we do for an entire month of HBO. Granted, HBO isn't really worth it either, but at least they don't make you watch commercials before your movie comes on.
If the damn T.V. guide says that the hilarious Martin Lawrence comedy "Black Knight" starts at 10:30 on HBO, you'd better start watching at 10:30.
However, (and as absurd as this may sound, I'm being serious here) I can actually leave my house at the exact time a movie is supposed to start, and still make it there in time to watch the last preview.
Enough is enough, and I think it's time that I said something.

Oh, I guess I just did.


Go Dean!
Seriously Dean, go.