Thank You, thank you very much.
Please, folks please, hold your applause for just a moment.
Thanks.
It has only been a matter of days since I made my now infamous proclamation regarding the status of Iraq, and already you see that my global influence is nothing short of breath taking. I said to you then,

"Don't worry fellas, I got this."

And I Meant It.

Through a collaborative effort between myself and the United States military, one of the most vile despots in world history has been drug from his "command center", or "thinkin' hole", and brought to justice. They say that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and I am here to tell you, the people of the world,

We should give Saddam to my girlfriend Darla.

No military tribunals, no trials before an international coalition, just lock him in a room with her, casually mention my lack of commitment, and back away.

The only way that this momentous occasion in world history could be made sweeter, is if somebody had a giant "Mission Accomplished" banner laying around somewhere.
Oh well, you can't always get what you want. Just ask the Rolling Stones, those poor, poor bastards.

So, people of the Earth, tonight when the streets are filled with dancing, and the automatic weapons fire into the sky, and the praises of a thousand tongues falls upon the ears of the innocents, let it be known,

You Are Welcome.